Jesus Drives the Buses

1. I'd like to speak of Jesus
2.  now the seasons underway.
3. A diff'rent Jesus who did not
4.  arrive on Christmas Day.
   
   
5. The Virgin Mary's not his mum,
6.  and God is not his dad.
7. He wasn't born in Bethelehem,
8.  he's just a Glasgow lad.
   
   
9. He cannae walk on water.
10.  Can't turn water into wine
11. This Jesus lives Castlemillk,
12.  and not in Palestine.
    
    
13. At Christmas time, we tell the tale
14.  how Jesus came to be:
15. Our Jesus drives the buses
16.  for a firm called JMB.
    
    
17. He doesn't wear a name badge,
18.  never tells a soul his name,
19. But every time he takes the wheel,
20.  the punters shout the same.
    
    
21. "Jesus, wid ye slow it doon!"
22. "Jesus, calm yersel!"
23. "Jeez, yer gonnae kill us all!"
24. "Jesus, whit the hell!"
    
    ____
    
    
25. The Horseshoe bar, on Christmas eve,
26.  the three wise men did meet.
27. At closing time they went to get
28.  their bus on Union Street.
    
    
29. Jesus, in the number nine,
30.  came whorin down the road.
31. Young Casper tried tae flag him doon.
32.  The bus, it never slowed.
    
    
33. He sped close to the gutter,
34.  sprayed the three wise men with muck,
35. And Balthazar, the wisest one,
36.  cried "Jesus, whit the f#ck?"
    
    
37. He doesn't wear a name badge,
38.  never tells a soul his name,
39. But every time he takes the wheel,
40.  the punters shout the same.
    
    
41. "Jesus, wid ye slow it doon!"
42. "Jesus, calm yersel!"
43. "Jeez, yer gonnae kill us all!"
44. "Jesus, whit the hell!"
    
    ____
    
    

by Albert Semple
44 lines over 11 stanzas.